The Challenge
by Cybrokat
Summary: "Anything you can do, I can do better." Who comes out on top, Professor Snape or Professor Granger when pitted against each other in their own unique challenge?
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: **This story was written as a gift for my 500th reviewer on this site. She picked five criteria and a genre, which will be revealed at the conclusion. This is fic is **completed** and I will upload a chapter every few days. It is finished in five parts. I hope you enjoy, and thanks to Anubis Ankh for such a fun plot bunny.

What shall I do for 1000?

**The Challenge **

**by Cybrokat**

**Chapter One**

Crookshanks' tail swished back and forth in an agitated manner as his mum's strokes on his back became increasingly frustrated. At first, she softly stroked his silky fur as she made notes here or scratched out something there on the syllabus she was reworking for next year's first years. But as the man kept speaking to her, her strokes became rubs, which morphed into Crooks slowly losing fur. Finally giving up, he jumped down from the chair beside her and took up residence on the sofa.

He watched the couple as they continued to converse in the otherwise empty staff room. It wasn't uncommon to find them talking. Well, arguing was a more apt description. On occasion, the feline would even see the man enter his mum's classroom to antagonize her about some trivial point in her instruction before stalking from the room, robes in full swish behind him.

"I wouldn't introduce such a spell to first years if I were you," said the man.

Hermione's fingers just clutched her quill a little tighter, and she continued with the revision.

The dark-haired man walked to the other side of her and peered over her shoulder to continue reading her parchment. Hermione intentionally wrote in tiny script, knowing his proud nature kept him from wearing the glasses he so desperately needed.

"And such creatures, at this age? Really, Miss Granger, you might as well just introduce the Unforgivables."

"Professor Granger," Hermione said.

"No, I believe I'm Professor Snape. Are you confused, _Miss_ Granger? Perhaps you should hand off such a difficult position to those who are better than yourself if the stress is too much."

Hermione laid down her quill for a moment and turned to face him, her nose only inches from the black-clad chest hovering behind her. "As the man who _used_ to be the youngest teacher hired, _Mister_ Snape, you should be intelligent enough to realize that age doesn't equate to wisdom, regardless of the _vast_ separation between us."

Picking up her quill once again, she knew this argument would never be over as long as she held the position he most coveted.

Five years previous, when Hermione was only twenty – one year younger than Snape himself was when first hired – she was offered the job of professor for Defense Against the Dark Arts. She took the job without hesitation.

University had been a breeze for the overly intelligent witch, and she had obtained proficiency in both Defense and Potions, wishing to do work crossing the two disciplines rather than focusing on one exclusively as so many did. Encouraged by her instructors, she thrived in the academic environment and knew she would want to work somewhere that allowed her to flex her research and development muscles.

Minerva's plea, therefore, had come as a godsend. The curse was broken, she had assured the younger girl. The staff was certain that the departures of both of the DADA professors since Hermione's graduation had been mere coincidence. Magical or not, one couldn't predict pregnancy, and honestly, the second really should have known better than to mix magnesium and sulfur in an experimental potion. One simply didn't tamper outside of their expertise without consultation.

Hermione's addition to the staff had mostly been flawless, the ease of becoming peers with her professors apparent.

Mostly.

Hermione still didn't sit on the same side of the table as Professor Trelawney. Unfortunately, that meant she sat on the same side as Professor Snape. Naturally, the only chair available was the one right next to him. Chairs would be free flanking him if he didn't have the sense to sit at the end of the table.

The man had made himself a menace since the moment she had stepped foot into the hallowed halls. Not content to leave his haranguing to her childhood, he felt it was his responsibility to remind her on a daily basis that he could have her position in a blink if he so desired.

She was kind enough not to rub in that she knew he had asked Minerva every year. And every year, she had told him no. Hermione half wondered if the woman did it now for the sake of tradition rather than opinion.

Crookshanks was correct that even her classroom was not sacred. The young professor had been mortified, as were her students, the first time he had walked into the middle of her lecture to question her inclusion of a potion in her requirements. A heated argument had ensued over whether she had crossed the line. Just because he taught Potions, she told him, didn't mean he was the only one who could, nor was his class the only time a potion was relevant. He could either include it himself on the syllabus or kindly remove himself from her classroom so that she could proceed with her lecture.

Students, suitably impressed at both the temerity of their DADA professor and the look of pure hate on the face of their Potions professor, no longer viewed future interruptions with the shock they once had.

The cat alone watched their every movement.

He saw what others did not see. He saw the man as he stood outside his mum's door, clutching papers in his hands, debating whether or not to enter. He also saw the little smirk on the man's face as he was chased out time and time again after riling up the fiery witch.

He saw the man as his eyes scanned the Great Hall from the High Table, waiting for her bushy head to appear. Occasionally he would even push out the chair next to him a little before she arrived, her head so buried in her papers that she didn't notice. His first comment was always planned in advance, some barb to make her lift her head from her papers and focus solely on him, even if it was in irritation.

Crookshanks walked the castle as silently as the dark man himself and saw the man in his most private moments. The moments when he would stand at the tall window overlooking the grounds on a clear night, watching and waiting for something that never came. Crooks saw the man taking meals in the solitude of the staffroom when it was known that Hermione would not be dining in the Great Hall; sitting alone in the crowd was no longer tolerable after having her companionship.

Also known to Crookshanks was his mum.

He was her confidante in the castle, the one friend who was always readily available. It was true that she still had Glasses and Ginger and even Miss Ginger (who was now Mrs. Glasses, but you are always the same to a cat), but they had their own lives to lead outside the castle, and the life of a professor was akin to being a monk or a nun. One had one's covenant, and contact with the outside world was fleeting through most of the year.

So when Hermione needed to bare her soul, it was to her faithful feline friend that she turned. He knew the ache of her heart after things had dissolved between her and Ginger. It saddened Crookshanks to see his mum so upset, but at least she had finally realized he was no good for her. That had been her first year teaching. Ginger had understood her unavailability when she was away for university but not when she was so close at Hogwarts. He hadn't understood or cared to understand and accept the demands put on a teacher. Soon enough, his attentions had turned elsewhere.

Hermione regularly asked Crookshanks about the dark man. Whether he really meant all those horrid things he said (no), whether he sat around and made a list of things with which to irritate her (yes), and was he just looking for a friend but didn't have the skills with which to recommend himself (also yes).

Crookshanks, however, could actually tell her none of these things. They had to be figured out on her own. And while he knew his mum was brilliant, five years was a bit too long to not have made much progress. Surely by now she should have realized a little bit of the dark man's motivation. Surely she should have been able to break through his shields enough to learn a little more about him.

Surely by now she should have realized the reason she cared so much.

But alas, this was not the case. They were still at square one, still dancing around each other, spitting like cats in heat, not realizing or acknowledging what happens to cats in heat after they are done with the angry mewling.

That was when the real fun began.

Crookshanks released a huff from his perch as he watched the two continue their dance.

"It's obvious you lack a certain flair for this subject. You know, I'm sure Filius will be retiring soon. Certainly a little foolish wand-waving is much more your skill-set."

"Just because you lack the skill, Snape, doesn't mean that it's beneath you."

"Is that so, _Miss Granger_? Yes, you would definitely know about things that are beneath me. Perhaps someday you will reach the height of a truly great professor."

"I'm already a full foot taller than Filius, thank you, _Severus_, and few men are lucky enough to find me beneath them."

The man growled at her double entendre and sat himself on the sofa next to the cat. This game was a familiar part of their pre-mating ritual. The conversation would start off between Professors Snape and Granger. It would slowly deteriorate into Severus and Miss Granger, one emphasizing that she was just a child, the other that they were now peers.

Professor Snape watched the back of his sparring partner with his little grin on his face as she once again deflected everything he threw at her. That was one of the reasons he loved talking to her and sought out her company.

Hermione turned her attention back to her work with the same small grin, knowing that once again he had not gotten the upper hand. That wasn't always the case, but generally she could at least break even, and there were a few times she knew she had caught him off guard with the speed and skill of her retort.

After a few moments of silence – long enough that when he took his leave, it would not appear that he was leaving solely because he had lost this round, even though they both knew that was the case – Snape moved to exit.

"When you need some expert advice, Miss Granger, you know where my office is."

"Of course, Severus. When I need to know how to infuse black into all corners of my wardrobe, I'll come knocking," Hermione answered, without ever looking up from the table.

His departure left the headmistress in his wake. Minerva didn't even have to ask to know what had caused the man's hasty retreat. Once again, her youngest two colleagues were in contention.

"There are days, Minerva, when the back of him is the most welcome sight in the world." And _not_ because of those trousers. Well, not just because of the trousers, Hermione reluctantly allowed.

"I know it's hard to believe, Hermione, but he means no harm."

Hermione snorted as Minerva took the warm spot Snape had left next to Crookshanks. The cat head-butted the woman in greeting, and her hand automatically moved to scratch behind his ear.

"He wonders what you have that he doesn't. He also wonders why he is still teaching Potions after all this time. Simply put, he's jealous."

"Jealous? Of a teacher who has just barely achieved tenure? I know he wants this position, Minerva, but has he ever explained why? Or for that matter, has anyone explained to him why he doesn't have it? Make no mistake, I was in his Defense class. He taught it well, but I know I'm a better instructor than he is for this class. My students learn respect, fear, and awe of the Dark Arts, not just of their professor and the subject by proxy. I just wish we could determine the winner of this pissing contest and be done with it once and for all!"

Crookshanks' ears perked up. Was there to be a resolution to the mating ritual at last?

"My dear girl, these things have a way of resolving themselves," Minerva told her gently as she poured them both a fresh cup of tea.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

Three days. It had been three whole days, and Hermione hadn't heard a word from Professor Snape. So long had it been without a cross word from him that she almost trekked down to the dungeons to make sure he was alright.

Of course, it was just as much her fault as his. Summer was a brief time of respite from the students, and Hermione hadn't let a moment go to waste. No sooner had the children left the castle than Hermione had pulled her cauldron and notes out, determined to make progress on her project before they returned. She knew there must be a way, if only she were diligent enough to find it.

And so, two weeks before the students were due to return, the young Professor Granger found herself skipping meals in the Great Hall in order to spend more time in her classroom and its adjoining workroom. She knew she was close to cracking the secret of the shielding potion. Every trial lasted a little longer and was a little stronger than the previous batch. Soon she would have a viable trial to send off for testing by the Ministry.

A little late, considering Voldemort was already gone, but it would be an asset for the next war, for there would always be another.

Perhaps after this trial, Hermione would grab a shower – which she sorely needed – and go check on Professor Snape. The man could be such a recluse that he might have been dead for days before anyone noticed his absence. People assumed the death of the Dark Lord would make him more agreeable.

They were wrong.

Oh, it was true that he now punished Slytherin the same as other houses – well, mostly the same – but he was still bitter, still antisocial, and still disagree for the sake of disagreeing. Hermione had a sinking feeling it was what he considered humor.

No sooner had Hermione cooled the fire beneath her cauldron than there was a knock on the door. Her breath hitched.

Only one person called on her in the middle of the day, and it was never for tea and conversation.

The person banged harder on the door, almost as though they were using both fists. Hermione quickly rushed over to open it while the door remained standing.

"Harry! Ron!" she greeted the two grinning boys on the other side. "I'm just finishing up a potion. What are you two doing here?"

"A potion? I thought you were the Defense teacher, 'Mione. You taking over for Snape, too?"

"Professor Snape, Ron." _Unless I'm angry with him. _"And no, I'm not taking over for him. I told you before that I trained in cross-disciplines with my focus being in Defense, but I am still accomplished in Potions. I'm hoping to be able to create a new Shielding Potion. I'll tell you about it, but first, I'll take you guys up to my rooms. I have got to get a shower."

Leading the way, Hermione quickly settled them into her living quarters with tea and biscuits before begging her leave to shower. Ron tried to insist that they didn't mind her current state, but Hermione knew that the ingredients she had been handling were as fragrant as they were caustic, and she was better off removing them from her skin and hair as soon as possible.

Plus, she just needed to get out of her sweaty clothes and wash her hair. The boys didn't understand she didn't wish to wallow in her own filth.

After she was suitably dressed, she admonished the boys for giving her no warning of their coming. "You should have at least sent an owl! I'm happy to have you both here, but honestly, you are very lucky I was just finishing up for a while. I doubt you would have enjoyed spending your visit in the hot lab, watching me work."

"Sorry, Hermione," Harry told her. "We just know how busy you've been, and we both had the afternoon free, so we thought we'd surprise you."

Ron nodded in agreement. "We didn't figure you'd be busy. I mean, classes are the same every year, right? You shouldn't have too much to do over the summer but relax a bit. Thought we'd hear from you more, see you around the Burrow a bit."

Hermione fought the urge to roll her eyes at her daft friend. Teachers not busy, indeed! Not all of them were like Professor Binns, whose subject and coursework stayed the same year after year after year.

"There are always changes to be made. In fact, if I succeed with the potion, it will be taught by Professor Snape in Potions one day. Just because magic has been around for ages doesn't mean there is nothing left to discover."

"What does the potion do, exactly? I mean, a potion for defense?" Harry inquired.

Since he appeared genuinely interested, Hermione indulged him, watching Ron's eyes glaze over as she continued to speak.

"Well, we know there are a few charms that can give protection from spells in a fight. But in order to use them, you must possess a wand and the required skill. The spell is only moderately effective, and the caster has to be aware of the imminent danger. But, what if we could develop a Shielding Potion? Something that could be consumed beforehand, that could last for some time, say, an hour perhaps, and could be at least as effective as the charm?"

As Hermione sat forward on the edge of her chair, Harry did the same on the sofa, nearly knee to knee, while Ron watched the paintings on the walls. Excitement was reflected in the eyes of the two interested parties, and Hermione began waving her arms about as she continued her exposition.

"I've been experimenting with the Fire Protection Potion, attempting to expand its magical properties to include more than just magical fire. So far, I've managed to…"

"Hermione!"

All three occupants of the room sat up straight in response to that very familiar voice.

"Hermione! I must speak with you at once!"

Wondering why he didn't just enter, it took Hermione a moment to realize he did not have the password to her room.

It took her another bewildered moment to wonder why he was not yelling for Professor Granger, Miss Granger, or just Granger.

Intrigued, she opened the portrait to allow the harried man entrance.

"Professor Snape?" Ron stuttered.

"Hermione," Snape said to the woman, grabbing her shoulders and ignoring Ron completely, "Your presence is required immediately. I'm afraid your cat may be in distress."

"Crookshanks? But, what? How?"

"I…happened past your rooms. I saw him there. He was mired in muck and laying still."

Hermione gasped as she quickly gathered a clean towel and a few things she might need. "But, the potion! Oh no! If he got into the potion…Severus, the potion has salamander blood. If the blood gets into his bloodstream, his Kneazle blood may see it as an antigen and create lymphocytes! I mean, I didn't even think to check the protein type or take Rhesus factor into consideration, so what if…"

"We must go, explain on the way."

"Absolutely."

Hermione left the boys sitting in her room without further explanation, and both were too stunned to follow.

"Blimey, Harry, did you get that? She's nuts! Nuts and squirrels!"

"She called him Severus," said Harry slowly as comprehension dawned on him.

Ron's eyes grew wide as he had the same realization. "And he called her Hermione. You don't think…?"

"Nah," the boys both agreed and, not knowing what else to do, decided to wait for her return.

~~HGSS~~

Severus grasped Hermione's hand tightly, and she had to step lively to keep up with his pace and watch where she walked to avoid tripping on the cloak that trailed behind him. Between grasps for breath, she managed to ask him how he had found Crookshanks in the first place.

"I happened upon your rooms on my way to the Great Hall. Incidentally, of course. It had nothing to do with seeing which abominable color you tinted the bricks this year or seeing what other methods you managed to conceive of to instill the proper fear into the students." _Nor had it anything to do with seeing if you were planning on dining in the Great Hall._ "When I drew near, I saw the room was unoccupied and heard the most wretched sound. It sounded like, well, it sounded like a dying cat."

Severus grimaced at Hermione's startled gasp and hurried on. "I stepped into your room to see if you were somewhere I couldn't see, needing medical assistance. It would be a nightmare trying to replace you so close to the start of the school year. I saw the adjacent door ajar and saw your cat in his present condition. He was breathing as I left but unmoving and indescribably filthy."

"Bad Crookshanks!" exclaimed Hermione. "But he's normally such a smart boy! He never gets into my potions or experiments, and he is always fastidious about keeping clean. What could have possessed him?"

Her thoughts were cut off abruptly as they entered the room. Hermione led now, hurrying to where her familiar must be. She found him as Severus described him, laying beside the tipped cauldron and covered in sticky, brown goo. His fir was matted with the substance, and his breathing was labored.

"Oh, Crooks, you bad, stupid kitty. Come here, Mum's going to make it better. It's going to be okay, baby."

Severus rolled his eyes at the insipid chatter coming from his companion and, out of habit, bottled the remaining potion.

Out of curiosity, he pocketed a few vials she was sure not to miss.

_It's about time_, thought Crookshanks, lying obediently and deceivingly still as Hermione checked him over physically and magically. She fussed accordingly as he wheezed.

_Does she realize how disgusting this stuff is? My fur won't lie correctly for days! And this smell! How can I troll for some hot puss smelling like the wrong end of a centaur?_

Hermione had no way of knowing that Crookshanks was in no real danger at all. The only thing damaged was his ego. Earlier in the day, as soon as another castle cat informed him that Ginger and Glasses had come to visit his mum, he high-tailed it to the greenhouses where he knew there was a particularly choice rank hybrid that was ripe for the taking. Or the rolling in, as it was. Today was the perfect day to launch The Plan.

He couldn't have asked for a better response.

The clang from the cauldron had barely finished resounding in the room when he heard the footsteps of the suitor, coming to call. His meow was suitably pathetic, if he did say so himself, and soon the man came in and spotted him before making haste out of the room to fetch his mum.

Now they were both here, and he couldn't wait for them to leave again so that he could receive a proper bath. Perhaps for this, he would leave a special present in the shoes of the dark man.

"Why were you even in here?" Hermione questioned the feline who was slowly pretending to come around. "Bad Crookshanks!"

She forced a potion down his throat as Severus inquired, "Could he have come in this way?"

Hermione stood up after reassuring herself that her cat was stable and walked to the door Severus was by. "I've never seen that door before."

Severus stepped inside and spun around. The room appeared to be a large antechamber, but what was it doing attached to Hermione's lab? How could it have even fit in the castle? He knew rooms moved regularly, but there had to be some sort of architectural consistency.

"What do you see?" Hermione whispered, slowly walking into the room herself.

No sooner had she cleared the door then it shut with a loud bang behind them. In a flash, Severus was at the door, trying the handle and any unlocking spell that came to mind. Nothing worked.

"Did... did your cat just lock us in this room?"

Hermione gasped.

"Bad Crookshanks!"


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

Professor Snape spun around in frustration, not realizing how close Hermione was to him until they both crashed to the floor in an undignified heap.

She let out a startled screech and opened her eyes to see black coal eyes staring back at hers while her previously pissed off ex-professor lay sprawled out on top of her.

A tense moment passed without a word spoken until Hermione noticed a bit of movement beyond her head. Tipping her head back, she saw a sight she never expected. "Is - is that a boggart?"

Looking up at her tone, Snape coolly responded, "No, it's the Dark Lord back from the dead. Now  
give me my wand – thank you. _Riddikulus_!"

They both scrambled to their feet as the boggart – which was a pale-faced Dark Lord for both of them – suddenly went from his snake-scaled, dark green robes to a flamboyant sunflower-patterned dress, complete with large sunglasses and a straw hat.

Hermione let out a snicker. "Really? That's the best you can do? He looks like a frumpy housewife."

The Bogga-mort gave her a glare identical to the Potions master's.

"Forgive me. I wasn't able to get a proper view of your knickers to finish the look."

Her mouth dropped. "Why…you just…I cannot believe_…Riddikulus!_"

The boggart spun around, this time emerging as a Malibu Barbie. The pink bikini clashed horribly with his pale whiteness, and the long blond locks did nothing to help. Red lipstick and a mixed drink completed the ensemble.

"And am I supposed to believe that's a representation of your knickers?" asked a wry voice behind Hermione.

"You'll never know, will you?" she answered. "And it's quite a bit better than a housewife. That was just sad."

"You may have been able to perform one adequate transformation, _Miss_ Granger, but I highly doubt you have enough imagination to outwit me."

Professor Snape wore a smirk as she turned on her heel to face him. "Oh really? And I imagine anything I can do, you can do better, is that it?"

"That about sums it up. _Riddikulus!_"

The annoyed boggart spun again, this time emerging with a snort of its own as it wore a drab house-elf towel.

"Oh, honestly. A house-elf? About as creative as the housewife! _Riddikulus!"_

"_Riddikulus!"_

"_Riddikulus!"_

The boggart could barely cease its spin before it was transformed again into something even more outlandish than before.

"_Riddikulus!_" shouted Hermione as Voldemort became a lurid pink dementor, floating above the ground with less than sinister grace.

Snape almost cracked a smile before shouting himself, "_Riddikulus!"_

Suddenly, Albus Dumbledore was before them in all of his star-spangled glory. Purple robes with orange and yellow stars and one shiny star bauble hanging from the tip of his long wizard's hat.

Hermione almost giggled before pointing her wand at her dearly departed headmaster. _"Riddikulus!"_

He couldn't help it. He had tried to get the upper hand. He knew he was better at this than she. He knew without a doubt that if they were in a fair contest of wits, not this macabre spectacle they found themselves in, that he could outperform her with ease.

This, however, was a brief moment of genius. Hilarious genius.

Before them both stood Voldemort, as he had been in his prime. Bald as a newborn, pale as the moonlight, nose slits flaring.

And he was completely clothed in Neville's grandmother's clothes.

Severus' wand lowered as he grabbed his sides in deep, bellowing laughter. The haughty look slowly fell off Hermione's face to be replaced with awe as she watched the other man slowly break down before her.

"Are you quite done?"

Both heads lifted and the laughter ceased as the Bogga-mort put his hands on his hips, cross, and addressed them both.

"I hope you've had your bit of fun, but I'm afraid that it's over for now. You two are here as part of The Challenge. I was merely the first that you shall face this evening. Four more await you, each with a different specialty. The winner shall receive a very handsome prize. These walls are spelled against cheating, and these tasks are meant to test you both. Neither shall be favored. Any questions?"

"Who's behind this?" Snape asked.

"All shall be revealed in time. And now, to your first task."

The boggart vanished. Behind him, a door appeared.

Hermione shrugged at Severus, and they both proceeded through the door.

On the other side, a familiar sight greeted them both. A potions lab.

"Oh, Miss Granger, you are so screwed."

She grinned at him. "On occasion, Severus. Is that another difference between us?"

"Ten points from Gryffindor."

"Hey! What was that for?"

"Cheek."

Hermione huffed and moved to inspect the ingredients on the table. She sighed.

"Too complex for you, Granger?" Severus asked, inspecting the table.

Looking at everything spread out before her, she told him, "Felix Felicis. And we don't have a recipe."

One appeared on the chalkboard in front of them.

"Easy enough," Snape said. "But we still only have one table."

"Budge over then, and hand me that cauldron."

His eyebrow rose at her demand, and they began working together in a comfortable silence. Until–

"You realize you've lost this already, correct?"

Hermione huffed. "Oh, shush. Nothing is decided."

"No, I'm certain this has already been decided. Hand me the asphodel."

Her fingertips grazed his as she handed him the tray, and both fought hard not to look at the other. The steam in the small room was bringing moisture to their faces and making their robes cling to their damp bodies.

"Hand me the gold leaf, Severus, before you lose?"

"Certainly, Granger. Anything you need. Nothing will help you anyway."

The banter continued as they both steadily brewed. All was well until Hermione began to add the clover as Snape reached behind her for the extra on her other side. His chest slid along her back, her sharp intake of breath causing her to drop in almost twice what was required.

"You did that on purpose!" she accused after she had regained her wits.

"Fallacy, Miss Granger. The walls are spelled against cheating, remember? You just aren't a master."

Her glare did not faze him in the least, and both potions were bottled, even though Hermione knew that he was right. He had won this round.

"Things are becoming interesting, wouldn't you say?" asked a soft voice in the quiet room as the occupants watched the proceedings.

The other companion just purred as he laid on the chair's armrest.

"Well, the winner will be decided soon enough."

The cat just continued to purr and watch the events unfold.

"Well," said Hermione, eyeing the new door that appeared. "We've had Defense. We've had Potions. I imagine we'll have three things from three other disciplines as well."

"I knew there was a reason you're called the brightest witch of your age," came the sarcastic reply.

Hermione ignored him as she opened the door. "Come along, Severus," she taunted as he followed her through.

What greeted them made them both stop in their tracks. Large hedges grew from the middle of the room, much like the Triwizard Tournament. Two entrances were along one side, and it was clear they were meant to enter alone. The greenery walls were high, but they did not cover a large area. This wasn't a maze as far as they could see. More just an obstacle course.

"Glad I wore my trainers," mumbled Hermione. "Hand me a bottle of my potion, will you? No better place to try it out."

"I beg your pardon?" asked the man, looking offended.

"The potion you so obviously swiped when you thought I was distracted by my possibly dying cat, bastard, now hand me a vial."

With a glare, he gave her a single vial, leaving three in his pocket, and watched as she downed it all in one go.

"You might as well too. Can't hurt."

"That, I doubt. I shall not imbibe anything you've brewed that does not have proper testing first."

"Suit yourself," she told him and ran into one side of the maze. He shook his head and followed along his own path.

"_Wingardium leviosa_!" they shouted in unison as they both reached the first obstacle. A large fallen tree over the path was no match for either of the talented wizards.

Hermione and Severus each progressed slowly through their identical courses, knowing at any moment a trap could be sprung.

It appeared as though they had reached a dead end, but as they both stood waiting, they each saw a door in the undergrowth of the wall. "_Alohomora_," Hermione whispered, passing through her door just slightly ahead of Severus.

He heard her as she pushed her way through the brush ahead of him. This would not do. He picked up his pace.

Hermione heard him moving frantically behind her, trying to get ahead.

Soon, what had started off as an obstacle course became a race for the finish, both determined to not let the other win. Spells were cast so quickly, it appeared as though fireworks were being shot off in the hedges.

Barrier after barrier blocked their path. A huge stone wall was crumbled with Reducto, a key was summoned for another door with Accio, and Snape was fortunate enough to hear Hermione diminish a tornado with Meteolojinx Recanto. He had forgotten that one.

Not that he was ever going to tell her that.

Finally, it appeared as though the end was in sight. Hermione leapt over a few camouflaged holes in the ground which contained creatures that shot fireballs. They bounced right off her due to her potion, and she made a mad dash out of the last doorway. Looking around, she saw Severus wasn't there, and her laughter crowed through the room.

"Ha! I told you I would beat you! Youth versus wisdom, Severus, and thankfully, I have both!"

She waited a moment to gloat as he finished, but he didn't show. "Severus?" she called tentatively.

Walking to his exit, she saw a black heap just beyond the fire breathers. Running to him, she saw that he had been knocked unconscious and his leg was bent at an odd angle where he had tripped over the hole. Without her potion to protect him, the fireballs had singed his flesh raw.

"Stupid, proud, conceited man," Hermione mumbled under her breath as she healed him. The leg was no trouble, but she didn't have any salve for his burns. "_Ferula_," she whispered, wrapping the worst of them in bandages as he slowly came around.

Brushing back a lock of his dark, greasy hair, she smiled down at him as his eyes opened. "Hey," she said softly.

"Hey," he mumbled in return.

She continued her grin. "Next time, take my ruddy potion."

"Minx."

Hermione helped him off the ground and lead him out of the exit. "I beat you," she couldn't help but add.

His glare held a little less sting as he watched her gloat. Yes, she had beaten him. Fair and square, it seemed. However, though the battle was lost, the war raged on.

"Do you feel up to continuing? I didn't have any healing potions on me or anything so I had to make do with what I learned helping Ron and Harry. Which was quite a lot, actually, but I'm still not a Mediwitch."

"As long as you feel up to losing, Granger, I feel up to carrying on."

Hermione eyed him with a sudden interest. "You know, we don't even know what we're fighting for. All they mentioned was a handsome prize. You're going to feel awfully foolish if you worked this hard only to receive caring for Gilderoy Lockhart as your reward." 

Snape paused. "Nonsense. The reward is supposed to be _handsome_."

As he led through the next door, Hermione thought to herself that Severus would be a fine prize indeed.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

Beyond the door, the chamber split into two. Between the halls stood Bogga-mort, still clad in the green dress and vulture hat of Augusta Longbottom. Judging by the way he held it close to his side, he seemed to favor the large red purse.

"Oh great. It's you again," said Severus.

Bogga-mort would have raised an eyebrow, but as he had none, he merely nodded his head, vulture included. "Indeed, it is I. I am here to inform you of the next task you must face. But this challenge, you must face alone. Down these hallways, you will travel solo to see what lies beyond. Know only that for each of you, it shall be different. After your task is complete – should you complete it – you will be joined together once again for you final task."

"Oh, goody," remarked Severus as Hermione kicked him briefly in the shin.

Hermione looked down both halls, but she could see nothing from their vantage point.

Noticing her curiosity, Bogga-mort informed them that Severus was to go to his left and Hermione to her right.

She looked over her shoulder at her ex-professor. "See you on the other side."

"I'll be waiting for you."

"Unless I'm there first."

"Except you won't be."

Hermione huffed and began cautiously walking away while Severus did the same.

The person in the chair let a long, slow smile cover their face as they watched the couple part ways. "Ah, now this is when things will get interesting."

Crookshanks had wandered off to find his bowl, but at the low, gleeful voice, he jumped back up to his resting place on the arm of the chair and continued to look into the large mirror.

Severus kept his wand up and senses alert as he walked the quiet hallway. _Almost too quiet_, he thought.

After a nonverbal Lumos, he waved his wand about the area. Nothing jumped out at him. Nothing attempted to grab his ankle. No sounds could be heard.

Odd.

He approached a larger room and assumed this was where his challenge would be. Severus wondered what he would face.

Something personal. A potion, perhaps? That would be logical. Or maybe a Dark spell that only he, after his years of extensive spying and research, would be knowledgeable of.

Or maybe it was to be a fierce creature! They had yet to face a creature. Yes, that must be it. It must be a huge, ferocious beast! Miss Granger would have to face her own task because only he would be able to defeat such a horrifying monstrosity.

He crafted the creature in his mind. It would stand at least ten meters high and breathe fire. The skin would be poisonous, and there would be sharp horns on its scalp and spine. The large monster, at least two meters long, would be covered in razor-sharp scales, ready to slice and gore at a moment's notice. The hide would be thick and spell resistant.

Yes, that was why it was to be his personal challenge. Poor Granger would weep and faint at the mere sight of what he was to single-handedly defeat, as only a wizard of his caliber could. After he and Hermione had their rendezvous, he would listen to her own, much weaker challenge, and then show her the severed head of the monster he had destroyed. She would be in awe of his prowess. She would be his.

With his cocksure attitude, he entered the room. The cavernous ceilings were adequate for his beast. It must be lurking in the darkness. He smelled the damp air to see if he could get a whiff of its no doubt pungent odor and identify its location.

As he let his hunter's gaze pierce the surroundings to spot his prey, he noticed a faint movement in the corner. He heard a low rustle. He had found it.

Slowly, he crept along the wall, keeping low to ambush the creature. As he approached, he could see the dim outline of…

Hermione.

"Miss Granger, what in the name of Merlin's third testicle are you doing here!"

Hermione's startled hands flew over her heart. "Oh my, Severus! You scared me! I was looking around, but I didn't find anything, and then I discovered this room, but there was nothing here!"

A speculative brow was raised. "You saw no creature?"

"No. There was nothing. It was a bit nerve-wracking actually. I'm glad I found you."

Hermione stepped a little closer to him in the darkness, to where he could feel the soft brush of her robes against his twill trousers.

Perhaps he need not slay a beast to have her.

She was quite the challenge herself.

"It is alright now. I'm here, and we will find our way out together." He stood a little taller as he casually draped an arm around her waist.

"Do you think so?" she asked, politely ignoring his arm but looking up at his firm chest and warm lips. "It is awfully dark in here. Perhaps we'd be better off…waiting…for a while."

"Perhaps," he said slowly, bringing up his thumb to lightly brush her lips. "Perhaps you are right."

Hermione had started off her trek with caution and her senses on full alert. Creeping down the hall, she was prepared for anything. The hall moved around a shallow bend, just long enough to prevent her from seeing what was in front of her.

She was becoming unnerved as step by step fell with nothing happening. Eventually, the hall straightened out to show a large door at the end.

Hermione didn't know whether to be more frightened or relieved.

She had wracked her brain for ideas of what a personal challenge could be for her. They had yet to cover creatures, herbology, Divination, Arithmancy…

She hoped for a difficult Arithmancy equation but had a feeling it would be something more along the lines of Divination. Hermione was certain that her exit from that class would haunt her for the rest of her life. Perhaps she needed to take some lessons or an independent study from someone who wasn't Sybil. Even after five years on staff, she and the older woman still didn't get on.

As the large door loomed closer, she could hear voices. But not from the door. They seemed to be coming from the stone wall beside her.

She walked closer, pressing her ear to the wall. She knew those voices. "Harry! Ron!"

There was no answer. Just the panicked voices she couldn't reach. She looked down the hall to the doorway at the end that would be her challenge, but she knew if something was happening to her friends, she could not leave them behind. "_Alohomora_!" she yelled at the wall, to no avail.

"_Reducto_!"

Nothing happened.

"_Specialis Revelio_!"

Finally, the outline of a door appeared in the stone, with a corner of a rock jutting out for a handle.

As she grabbed it, the handle turned. Hermione peered in the crack and stifled a gasp. Harry and Ron were indeed inside, sitting strapped to chairs surrounding a table. And in the room were at least five Death Eaters. They wore their signature masks and robes, hiding their identity, threatening the two boys.

Hermione knew there was no one to summon. She didn't even know for sure where she was, and Severus could be anywhere. Casing the room, she decided that with a quick Stunner, she might be able to take out three before they saw her. That left two to one.

She'd had worse odds.

Opening the door a fraction more, she motioned to Harry and Ron. Placing a finger over her lips, she prayed they would be silent.

"_Stupefy_!" she yelled. "_Stupefy_!"

Two bodies hit the floor as she rounded on the third.

"You'll never escape alive!" said the third Death Eater, who sounded remarkably like Severus.

Severus? Wait a minute. It was true there were some rogue Death Eaters lingering after the Dark Lord's defeat, but Severus was certainly not one of them.

Then is dawned on her.

This was her challenge.

"Alright, alright, I get it! This is my challenge, and these people aren't real!"

A long, frightening moment passed, but then Harry, Ron, and the three remaining conscious apparitions laughed and vanished.

Hermione sat for a moment with her head resting on the table. She had almost blown that royally.

Standing up with a stretch, it was time to find the end and Severus.

Continuing down the hall, she opened the door to find an empty hall behind. In the hall, there was a door to her left and a door to her right, but no indication of which one to take. With a shrug, she opened the left door.

Beyond that door was a sight she never would have imagined to behold.

Severus Snape was snogging Hermione Granger. And not just snogging. Part of her robe was unfastened with Severus' hand inside, feeling up Circe knew where. One of her hands was in his hair, the other down the back of his trousers, gripping his bum. He held her pinned to the wall with his free arm wrapped around her waist, and both were making unnatural animal noises as they rutted in the darkness.

"Ahem," said the real Hermione. "Am I interrupting something?"

Severus jumped back as though she had set his robes on fire – again – eliciting a mew of disappointment from the phantom Hermione.

"Hermione!...Hermione?...But you were lost. You came in here looking for me. You couldn't find anything."

"Or, you just drastically, epically, and completely failed your challenge, Severus."

The phantom Hermione frowned and crossed her arms at the words of the real Hermione.

The real Hermione pointed her wand at her copy and cast the Homorphus Charm. The phantom Hermione cried out and latched onto Severus, clinging to his robes as she slowly transfigured. Severus could only watch in horror.

When it was finished, a small fox sat before them.

"Cute. You were duped by a kitsune, Severus. The way you were grabbing its bum, I would have thought you would have felt the tail. Oh well. I suppose I should be flattered, they are known for impersonating beautiful women."

Severus looked at her, his cheeks flaming red against his sallow skin. He knew he had been caught with his hand literally in the cookie jar. "Not a word, Miss Granger. I was merely feeling her out for…duplicity."

"Oh, you were feeling her alright," she told him as she headed out through the door toward the other one, which was presumably the exit.

She stopped as something occurred to her. "I was your challenge?"

"Shut it, Granger. The kitsune probably frightened off my real challenge."

"No, no, I'm pretty sure that was it. Funny. I mean, I would have thought you would have had some big, scary monster to take care of." She failed to see her companion as he paled. "But, nope. You just had me. I wonder why? Mine was Charms. I shouldn't have been surprised really. They tried to fool me into thinking that five Death Eaters held Ron and Harry captive. I was going to attack them, of course. I stunned two before I realized they were fake."

She realized she was babbling, but there was no way of cutting her off when she was nervous. Why _was_ she his challenge? Was she his…weakness?

"And how did you manage to figure that out, Granger?" asked Snape, clearly still testy.

"It was easy. One sounded like you. I knew you wouldn't do anything that reprehensible. Not now."

A little more color returned to his cheeks, but sadly, it was rosy and not sallow.

"Severus?"

"Hmm?" he answered, not wishing to carry on this conversation or this stupid challenge any further.

"My challenge contained an important decision. To help my friends or to go for the exit. I think I know why you would never have been my challenge."

"Why indeed, Miss Granger? Enlighten us with your logic, for we both know you can't keep quiet."

"Because I already know what I'd do with you."


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

Severus stopped in his tracks as the young woman headed out the door without looking back.

"_Because I already know what I'd do with you."_

And what was that supposed to mean? Did she mean she would have turned him down flat and thus, there was nothing else to consider, or that she would snog him senseless?

This is why he wasn't in a relationship.

He followed Hermione into the next, and last, room.

Inside reminded him of some Greek mythical challenge. The doorway out was clear, but if Hermione's spells were true – which they probably were – the door was not going to open.

In the center of the room was a small mountain make of rock. Platforms made steps up the mountain, each about three meters higher than the other. High enough that one would have to climb to reach each one, for there was nothing to use to fly. The mountain itself stood about 35 meters high with a total of ten platforms up the side of the hill.

At the top of the hill hung a plant. Obviously, their target.

"It's mistletoe," said Hermione, dejected. "Magical bloody mistletoe."

"That would explain the climb. We have to be in proximity to it in order for it to fall."

She gave him a queer look. "And we have to kiss."

"Is that going to be a problem for you, _Miss_ Granger." He knew he was letting his irritation show, but dammit, the woman shouldn't be so vague.

"Of course not, Severus. We're both adults." Hermione looked up to the mistletoe, high above the ground. "Just how close, exactly, do we have to get to release the mistletoe?"

"I am uncertain. That would depend on when it was picked, the humidity in the air, the acidity of the soil, the-"

"Alright, alright, I get it."

Severus stood at the base of the stone, preparing his ascent. "We will just have to climb to the top and release it."

"Um, why don't we stop on each platform and see if it's close enough?" asked Hermione, now also standing before the stone.

"Eager to kiss me, Granger?"

Hermione gave him a withering look. "Oh, you have no idea. As far as you know, I orchestrated this whole plan just to get into your pants."

"You could have just asked."

"You've never given anything easily, Severus. Course, that kitsune may disagree with me."

Severus growled and began his climb, eager to hide his face.

He reached the first platform and began to climb to the second when Hermione interrupted him. "What?"

"Can we try it from here?"

He looked at her, incredulous, as he dropped back down. "You were serious?"

Hermione huffed. "Have you ever wondered why you never see me on a broom? I would shag you right here and now if it meant I didn't have to climb any further."

Severus wondered if there was a loophole to retrieving the mistletoe, but alas, he could think of nothing. "We could try it, if you insist, of course."

"Ha. Get over here and kiss me."

"I believe, since you are being so demanding, you can come here and kiss me. It was your idea after all."

"Oh, of all the ridiculous-" Hermione stepped up to him, grabbed his lapels in two clenched fists, and kissed him soundly before looking up to the mistletoe.

Nothing happened.

"Blast," said Hermione and slowly began climbing.

Severus waited for her to climb up before following, appearing to be a gentleman in case she fell, but really just admiring her bum.

"Hurry up then," hollered Hermione above him, and he joined her shortly.

He waited with his arms crossed.

She sighed. "Next time, it's your turn," she said and gave him another kiss. Still, nothing happened.

When they reached the third platform, she had barely stood up before Snape was on her. Gripping one hand in her hair, he tipped her head back and laid a gentle but firm kiss on her lips, nuzzling her cheek with his nose. She had just enough time to realize what had happened and begin to respond when he pulled back.

"Nope, still nothing," he said, nonchalant, acting oblivious to the near-panting woman next to him.

Oh, she was in trouble.

On the fourth platform, she arrived first. Hermione stood up on her tiptoes and, with her hands cupping his face, closed her eyes and placed an open-mouthed kiss on his waiting lips. She barely pulled back before kissing him again. He let out a low grumble, and she pulled away, ignoring him as his arms reached for her.

"Hmm, nothing. Shall we carry on?"

Severus was already climbing.

He reached a hand down to help her up in his impatience before crashing into her, kissing the corners of her mouth, her nose, and finally her lips while holding her in a passionate embrace. Hermione wrapped her arms around him, returning the kiss. After an intense moment, he looked up, abruptly ended his hold on her, and went to climb.

Hermione was quicker.

She waited for him to stand up before just looking at him.

"Yes?" he asked. He had been expecting her to launch herself at him, not inspect him like potions ingredients.

Hermione took one, then two steps towards him, before slipping a hand inside his robes and grasping a fistful of his hair to bring his face to hers. Her parted lips guided him, and they tasted each other as he grabbed her bum and returned her hold on his hair.

Hermione now knew why the kitsune had pouted after he left her.

A shiver ran down her spine as they kissed each other senseless. Breathless, she looked up and told him, "Still nothing."

He gave her a hungry look. "Good."

The climb to the eighth platform was a race, each eager to finish what had been started.

Severus reached the top first, his long limbs giving him an advantage. "Looking for something…Hermione?" he asked her, smug.

"Shut up," she told him, and they continued where they had left off.

He pinned her to the hard rock, receiving no complaint from her, and he slid one hand up her shirt to fondle her breast as he kissed her. One of her hands was kneading his arse, and the other smoothed over his cheek to entwine in his hair.

He honestly had no idea why she kept touching it.

"Hermione," Severus whispered as he slowly laid her on the ground. Gently settling over her, he began to hitch up the bottom of her shirt as she worked to undo the buttons of his jacket.

"Ouch!" Hermione suddenly yelled.

Severus immediately stopped moving. "What is it? Did I hurt you? Is this too uncomfortable?"

Hermione gave him an unreadable look, a mixture of relief and disappointment. "I'd say about six meters," she said.

"For what?"

Hermione held up the large sprig of mistletoe that had landed on her forehead. "Six meters is how close you have to be in order to release this damned plant."

She struggled underneath him to get up. He contemplated pinning her there but remembered she still had her wand and a formidable temper.

Hermione lowered her legs over the edge after securing the sprig. She stopped when she noticed Severus wasn't following. "Are you coming?" she asked.

_I wish._

"I'm not in fit condition to climb. I'll be…down…shortly."

Her eyes flitted to the tent in his trousers which he was currently trying to point away from her prying eyes.

"Ah. Yes. Well. I'll just go see if this opens the door then."

"You do that."

Landing on the ground, wanting to kiss it and never climb again – except under these circumstances, perhaps – Hermione looked up to see her colleague lowering over the seventh platform.

Over at the door, she eyed it suspiciously. This had better work.

She held up the mistletoe and hung it by the small hook over the doorframe. After a pause, she heard a small click.

Tempted as she was to head through without Severus, she waited patiently for him to descend. After all, it was partially her fault that he had been delayed to begin with.

"Is the door open?" he asked, breathing a bit hard after his exertion.

"Think so," Hermione responded and felt the door handle turn with another click.

On the other side, Hermione walked into an unfamiliar sitting room.

"My chambers," said Severus.

Hermione looked around. "I wonder why we're here."

"Because this is where the mirror was held that allowed me to watch you," said a familiar voice. A chair spun around to reveal Minerva, with Crookshanks purring, half asleep at her side.

The younger professors just stared at her.

"Hermione, I'm pleased to inform you that you have won the challenge. You were first to complete the obstacle course, you defeated your challenge, and I believe even Severus admitted you showed flair in your skills with the Boggart. For your achievements, you shall be, with no arguments, the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor."

Hermione registered surprise while Snape just glared.

"Severus, you showed your aptitude with potions, a skill we can't afford to lose. In your spells, you showed extreme talent, but you lend your skill to offense, rather than defense like Hermione. She showed an affinity toward helping others just as you showed your affinity towards brewing. Yes, you are where you both belong, and this is where you will stay."

"Well," said Severus, "It's not as if we knew what we were facing. If I had known what I was to be fighting for, it would have been different."

"But that's the point!" said Hermione. "This was an unbiased way to show where our strengths lie."

"You're just saying that because you remain the DADA professor. I bet you'd change your tune if you were in Potions!"

"There is nothing wrong with the art of Potions!" yelled Hermione. "You're brilliant at it, and you know it! It's not my fault that you want something you can't have."

"You wouldn't know anything about that, would you, little Miss Gryffindor? Miss Golden Trio?" he yelled, stepping up to her. "I bet you've never been denied anything your little heart desires."

"No. I haven't. And you know why? I do this."

The next thing Minerva knew, Hermione had landed on Severus, throwing him to the ground. His fall was not graceful, but he had only himself to blame, his hands full of Hermione instead of bracing himself properly.

_Yes!_ thought Crookshanks. _Finally! An end to the ritual. A good, cat-mewling mate._

"Come along," said Minerva, picking up the large ginger fluffball. "Let's give them some privacy."

Severus and Hermione were oblivious to their audience as they left, Severus' jacket already off and Hermione's shirt hitting the door shortly after it closed behind Minerva. Just before it closed, Minerva swore she heard a male voice mutter, "Ten points to Gryffindor."

It wasn't until a meeting with Minerva, several days later, that they found out how the events had unfolded. It turned out that Crookshanks and a peculiar silver tabby had met on one of his prowls around the castle, and both had shared similar stories about their people. Once they realized the humans in question were the same, it was short work to find a way to get them together.

"Traitor," murmured Hermione to her furry companion. "So what now?"

Severus looked down at her at her question. "I suppose that's up to you."

"Oh, I don't know. You were always the one in authority…Professor."

His eyebrow rose sharply. "Is that so…Miss Granger? I think I've seen too much of your…cheek... lately. Meet me in the dungeon, or it will be ten points from Gryffindor. I have a project that is in need of your hands."

"Hey," protested Hermione. "Stop badgering my house for my actions. You wouldn't like it if I took points from Slytherin every time you misbehaved."

"That would be impossible, Miss Granger, for I am the only one in the role of professor."

"For now," came Hermione's murmured threat, and she headed down the dungeon stairs to enjoy her handsome prize.

Fini.

**A/N:**

My challenge was as follows:

Crookshanks (Be creative with him- he's always such an amazing character.  
What does he have to do that might help push the two of them together or chase  
away other competition? ;D )

2. Hermione is the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher (Did she just join  
the staff? Has she had the position for awhile? How does Snape feel about  
this? :o)

3. "Did... did your cat just lock us in this room?"

4. "Is- is that a boggart?" "No, its the Dark Lord back from the dead. Now  
give me my wand- thank you. Riddikulus!" (If you can put Voldemort in a  
sunflower-patterned dress, sunglasses, and a straw hat- kudos to you. =3 If  
you can think of something even funnier than that, go for it.)

5. "Blimey, Harry, did you get that? She's nuts! Nuts and squirrels!"

Genre:

Happy ending where they end up together would be lovely. Feel free to put in  
lemons or limes if you like. Snarky Severus is a must. Hermione should be  
strong, not in an in-your-face way, but able to stand up to Severus's attitude  
and explosive temper. Romance, of course. Perhaps somewhat dramatic, given the Dark Lord in a dress.

I'll let you decide how well it was followed, but she liked it at least. :) Something similar will probably be done if Liminal reaches 1,000 on .


End file.
